Ordering pizza in Vegas 5 years from now

This is what a call in Vegas to order pizza five years from now will
sound like.Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your
national ID
number?"
Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
6102049998-45-54610."
Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at
Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email
address is sheehan@ home.net. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"
Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will
add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"
Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
Special pizzas."
Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"
Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like
it."
Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."
Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
Your credit card balance is over its limit."
Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
gets here."
Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
overdrawn also."
Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
How long will it take?"
Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
minutes,sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle
can be a little awkward."
Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"
Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
yesterday"
Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"
Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
July 4, 2006 conviction for cursing out a cop and another one I see here
on September for contempt at your hearing for cursing at a judge. Oh yes
I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State
Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to
society?"
Customer: (Speechless)
Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".
Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits
this.
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"

Ronald Emerson

Unlikely......a more likely scenario is having to call Pizza Hut with one
national '800' number, and having that phone order get outsourced to India.


"Ronald Emerson" <northturn@> wrote in message
news:11573-42F7FB4C-1002@storefull-3255.bay....
> This is what a call in Vegas to order pizza five years from now will
> sound like.Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your
> national ID
> number?"
> Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."
> Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"
> Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's
> 6102049998-45-54610."
> Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland
> Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at
> Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Email
> address is sheehan@ home.net. Which number are you calling from, sir?"
> Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"
> Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."
> Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"
> Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will
> add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"
> Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat
> Special pizzas."
> Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."
> Customer: "Whaddya mean?"
> Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that
> you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your
> National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."
> Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"
> Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like
> it."
> Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?
> Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
> local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."
> Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then."
> Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids,
> and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99."
> Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."
> Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
> Your credit card balance is over its limit."
> Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver
> gets here."
> Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
> overdrawn also."
> Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready.
> How long will it take?"
> Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
> minutes,sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while
> you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle
> can be a little awkward."
> Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"
> Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your
> car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank
> yesterday"
> Customer: Well I'll be a "@#%/$@&?#!"
> Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a
> July 4, 2006 conviction for cursing out a cop and another one I see here
> on September for contempt at your hearing for cursing at a judge. Oh yes
> I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State
> Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to
> society?"
> Customer: (Speechless)
> Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"
> Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".
> Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us
> from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits
> this.
> Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"
>
> Ronald Emerson
>