 Traffic Jam
As with carrousels and rollercoasters, bumper cars have been around
forever, and remain popular to this day. They have passed the test of
time, appealing to diverse generations over many decades. "Traffic Jam"
is a more elaborate, themed version of a bumper car ride. The bumper
arena is not just a big rectangle, but irregular in shape, like a big,
squared-off number "8." there are two long parallel "streets" (the sides
of the "8") and three short "streets" connecting the long "streets" at
the top, middle, and bottom.
Alongside each of the five "streets," there are sidewalks complete with
trees, building facades, traffic lights and traffic signs. Observers
look into the bumper car area through the windows of the building
facades that surround the exterior. A bumper car driver sees relatives
waving to him from windows of buildings on the sidelines of the
"streets."
Many of the traffic signs posted alongside the bumper car "streets" are
comic: "DEAD END TUNNEL AHEAD, "NEXT 16 MILES NIGHTTIME NO-LIGHTS ZONE,"
"SPEED TRAP AHEAD," "SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP WEAVING," "VISTA POINT BEHIND
BILLBOARD," "PRISON ESCAPEE CROSSING," "LEFT LANE MUST BUY ORANGES,"
"STOP- IN THE NAME OF LOVE," etc. One symbol sign features a silhouetted
image of a cop eating a donut.
There are also comic scenes along the sidewalks, such as a dog walking a
man, or a woman whose apartment window box has an enormous, full size
tree growing in it. Businesses have silly names: "Peephole Motel,"
"Funny Money Savings and Loan," "Lemons R Us Used Cars," "Grease Pit
Burgers," "Kentucky Fried Octopus," etc.
Each bumper car looks different. There are Corvettes, Jeeps, VW Bugs,
and beat up Pintos. And believe me, the drivers in this city are the
worst drivers in the world!
Count Guinea Pigula
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